Meeting Our Sponsor Child Joyce!

The high point of our entire trip was meeting a 6-year old girl named Joyce, whom we began sponsoring this past spring.  Before we arrived, we had a picture of her and had received two letters from her.  We really wondered though what it would be like to meet her in person. Her picture was very.....reserved.  Would she be very shy with us?   Would she understand any English yet?  What would she think of us?  Would our visit seem like the longest day of the entire trip, or would it go quickly?

We arrived at a cultural center that Compassion had rented out for the day.  Our children and their chaperones were waiting for us there.  They introduced the children to their sponsors one at a time - we were first.

It took about 3 seconds - maybe not even that - to totally fall in love with this litle girl.  She was dressed in a dressy dress, covered over with a hoodie that was torn down the front (and resewn).  She was wearing those same socks she had in the intial sponsorship picture.   We found out later from Margaret (the woman on the right, who works at the child development center Joyce attends) that Joyce has very few clothes.  She is normally seen in town wearing her school uniform or her Compassion uniform, because she doesn't have too much else to wear.

Before I go too much further, I should tell you Joyce's background, which we learned that day.  Joyce's father abandoned her mother, and Joyce has never met him.  Joyce's mother could not afford to raise her, so she gave her to the grandmother to raise.  Joyce's mother eventually married another man.  BUT - he would not allow Joyce into his house, because she is another man's child.  So Joyce continues to live with her grandparents, and 3 aunts/uncles.  Joyce rarely sees her mother, as she lives a distance away.  She has a dog named Jack, who just recently had puppies.  We asked what normally happens to the puppies, and she matter of factly said that they normally die (whether from worms, or because Jack doesn't eat enough to provide nutriton to the puppies, etc., we don't know).

Joyce's grandparents are subsistence farmers - they grow maize, potatoes, and ground nuts, but they are only able to grow enough for themselves - they don't grow enough to sell.  (The average income in Uganda is quite low, but in the plains area where Joyce lives, it is extremely low.  Because the farmers are not growing enough to sell, the typical income is $4/month).  They live in a mud house with a dirt floor and metal roof, with no electricity or running water.  As normal in Uganda, the cooking area and pit toilet are separate from the house.

Back to the visit.....

I had prepared a photo album to help Joyce get to know us better.  It's a pretty big album, but it still has alot of blank pages left.  In the front, we wrote a note telling her the remaining pages were for pictures we'd keep sending her over the years, so that she could continue to get to know more about us and how much we love her.  (We have already sent her the photos of our visit, so that she can share it with her family.)  In the album, we put pictures of Eddie and me when we were her age, our families, our friends, animals that live around our house, and what it looks like in the different seasons.  She had never seen deer or  squirrels - but she reacted immediately to the pictures of the wild turkeys, which we also saw running around Uganda.

After going through the album, we went for a snack.  Joyce was enjoying herself, but she was still pretty shy.  So Eddie decided it was time to loosen her up with some funny faces!  At this point, Joyce had our camera.....in retrospect, it was amazing how many of us turned over our expensive cameras without a second thought to these children who would do who-knows-what with them.  I think all the cameras survived....

Eddie's funny faces worked, and we were off and running!  We had passed the awkward silence phase, and could now officially be silly!










Our favorite photo of Joyce - she was one happy girl!   

The cultural center had provided an inflatable castle for the kids (and adults) to play on.  Joyce went over there and had a blast.  She was a non-stop jumping bean, bouncing everywhere. 

 It went on and on and on.... 

And on and on...

And on and on.....

And then just as suddenly as she had turned into this Energizer Bunny, she stopped and declared it was time for a rest.  WE were ready for a rest, so we thought that was splendid.  She went over and sat down and rested for a while, and then she was ready to do something else. 

And so she decided to draw us some pictures.  She spent alot of time on this - it was like we were going to get a Picasso.....  When she was done, we had the same exact stick figures she had drawn in her earlier letters.  She likes to draw people, cars and buses.  Apparently cars and buses are virtually never seen where she lives, so it's a big deal when you see one.  One of her letters had said she wanted to learn to drive a car someday, so clearly she likes cars!

It was then time for lunch - so we all went inside to have....potatoes, rice, and plantains (see my earlier post What's For Lunch?).  There were also a few meat selections, and some uncooked vegies - we skipped those in the interest of not getting sick :-)

After lunch, it was time for gifts.  We had brought Joyce a backpack filled with various gifts.  The first item out of the backpack was a teddy bear I had started making decades ago, and finally got motivated to finish just a week prior to our trip.  We also gave her some toys, and a BIG bag of candy.  In the interest of teaching her a life lesson, I told her that she could share the candy with her friends.  WELL - she immediately started talking to Margaret, who then told us "she has decided she is NOT going to share the candy!"  There were some other gifts later on that she said she would share - we laughed - we know what's up high on her priority list, and it's spelled c-a-n-d-y!  So it was good that we also gave her toothbrushes and toothpaste....she told us that her current toothbrush is very old, so she was happy to have that.

We also gave her a shirt, which she immediately said she wanted to try on.  If we had known her clothing situation, we would have brought her many more!  After we got home, we found out that some money we'd sent for a birthday present had been used to buy her some more clothes, so we were very happy about that!

This is how Ugandan children say "Thank You".  They get down on their knees and bow their heads.  This occured a few times during the day.  We found it incredibly uncomfortable, and felt very unworthy of having a child bow in front of us.  We really hadn't done much - most people when confronted with a child like this would do whatever they could for them.  We count ourselves blessed to be able to help her - what seems like just a little to us means so much to her.  

As we neared the end of our visit, the sponsor children went up on stage and did a presentation for us.  They each introduced themselves, and some of the children sang a song or recited a Bible verse.   

And then it was time to go.  Joyce put on her backpack and we all headed toward the entrance of the cultural center to wait for the buses.

While we were waiting, it was time to play jump rope - another gift that was an unexpected hit.  We knew Joyce liked to jump rope, but what we didn't know was that jump ropes as we know them can't be found in Uganda.  Instead, the people at the child development centers MAKE their own ropes from locally available materials.  We saw some of them - they wear very easily and don't last long.  To have your own jump rope is unheard of, and to have a REAL one that won't wear out right away is quite something!  Later on, Joyce started jumping rope without us - she was jumping away and singing a song, seeming as content as a little girl can be.

Our bus finally arrived and it was time for final good-byes.  I hate good-byes!  But who knows - someday we may yet see Joyce again.....



We got on the bus, and Joyce continued to wave until we were out of sight. 

And so that was our visit with Joyce.  It was only one day, but our sponsorship will (hopefully!) last years. 

What do you do after a visit?   How do you top that?  This is when the less glamorous part of sponsorship happens.  This is when you write letters faithfully, you consistently remind the children that you love them, that you're proud of them, and that you're praying for them.  You work to give them hope of what they can be as they move beyond physical and spiritual poverty.  You remember that you are the adult, and that sponsorship isn't about getting warm letters from your child - it's about making sure they know there's someone in the world who has chosen to love them for no apparent reason at all, and that they have someone on their side no matter how difficult their situation may be.  That's what sponsorship is.

And as you do this, you find out that your sponsor child isn't the only one who is changed.....that you are changed as well as you open your heart to this child.

Motherhood - Ugandan Style

Being a Mom isn't easy - even in the best of circumstances.  Before we headed off to Uganda, I knew we were going to be meeting some Ugandan Moms, so I decided to enlist the help of some "Mom friends" in the U.S. to find out what they would like to know about their counterparts in Uganda.

By the time we ended our visit, I knew there were many reasons for my Mom friends to be glad they are experiencing motherhood at home in the U.S.  I had also met some amazingly heroic Moms in Uganda.  I'll introduce you to a couple of them before I'm done. 

But first, here are the answers to the questions U.S. Moms asked their counterparts in Uganda!  Because our trip was not just to learn about Uganda, but also to talk to Moms involved in Compassion's Child Survival Program, I'll note where appropriate the difference the Child Survival Program is having in the lives of these incredible Moms and their children.

Q.  Where do Ugandan Moms give birth to their children?

One of the best ways I can explain living in Uganda is that it's like going camping without any equipment.  There's no electricity, usually no running water (and if there is water, it's not safe to drink), no protection from insects, cooking is done over a wood fire, etc.  So imagine living in that environment all the time.  Now think about giving birth in that environment.  

Ugandan women generally give birth at home.  Their medical support team is a family member or a friend - not even a midwife, unless they are really lucky.  If there are complications, well....that's a problem.  Because of the concern over complications, the Child Survival Program (CSP) brings women to the hospital to deliver their babies, so that the mother and child have the best chance of survival.  BUT - at Ugandan hospitals, the doctor won't take your case unless you bring all your own supplies!  That's right - you need to bring your own latex gloves, clamps, etc.!   So CSP also provides "birthing kits" for the Moms to bring to the hospital with them.  In this way, they remove the two biggest barriers to women and their children surviving the childbirth process.

Q.  Do Ugandan Moms have morning sickness?  If so, how do they treat it?

Yes, morning sickness is a big problem.   If left untreated, the women can become dehydrated, which can create other problems.  The CSP program ensures the women are taken to see a doctor at the hospital, where they are provided medicine to reduce the symptoms of morning sickness.

Q.  What are Moms' greatest fears for their children?  What are their concerns about bringing them into a world of poverty?

We heard loud and clear that Ugandan Moms were concerned that their children would be able to grow up healthy.   Why such a concern?  Well, in Uganda, between 13 and 14  of every 100 children die before their 5th birthday  (for comparison, less than one in a thousand children in the U.S. die before they turn 5).  And if the child survives until age 5, they may have literally just survived - although they didn't die, they may be developmentally delayed from the challenges they had to face. So it's a potentially scary thing to think about what might happen as your child grows up.  

There are lots of reasons why the children die, but here's some of the big issues:

• Water-related disease (unsafe drinking water resulting in diarrhea/dehydration)
• Malaria 
• HIV/AIDS
• Poor nutrition
• Other preventable diseases

 To address issues like this, CSP takes a variety of approaches.  For example, they educate women about the need to boil water prior to drinking it.  They teach about malaria, and provide mosquito netting to reduce the chances of being bitten by a malaria-carrying mosquito.  They educate about HIV/AIDS prevention (including prevention of transmission from mother to child) and offer HIV testing/counseling.  They ensure children receive vaccinations against preventable diseases.  They provide cooking classes (as in the picture below), to teach women what comprises a nutritious meal, and how to cook food safely.  The list goes on and on, but you get the idea!

Cooking Classes for Moms

By the way, we got to sample what the women had cooked - it was yummy!

  

Q.  How will you provide for yourself, much less for the needs of your baby?

I was totally unprepared for the number of abandoned children we would meet on our trip.  What would make a mother abandon her child?

The answer was distressingly simple.  Women become pregnant, and realize that in fact they cannot care for the child.  So what are their options?  If the mother keeps the child, she fears she will be forced to watch the child die - and that she cannot bear.  So she abandons the child - hoping that someone else will take in the child.  At least then, she believes there is a chance the child will be all right.

 The girl in the blue head wrap is 15 years old.  She told us she became pregnant - we're not sure of the circumstances, but suffice it to say the father felt no commitment to her or the child and took off.  The mother is herself an orphan.  15 years old, pregnant, and alone.  She told us she had determined she would "throw away" her baby.

Although this girl was not part of the local church, the women from the CSP program at the church heard about her situation, and went to visit her.  They spent time with her and assured her that if she kept the baby, they would come alongside her to ensure her needs were met.  And then they did just that.  This girl is now the mother of an adorable baby (who was being held by us visitors at the time I took the picture).  And this girl spent time talking with us about how tremendously grateful she was that the church had helped her, and that she had been able to keep her baby.  But that's not the end.  She will continue with the CSP program, getting the counseling, support, and discipleship she needs to help both her and her child grow into fulfilled Christian adults.

Q.  How would you like us to pray for you?

Well, the other questions got answers, but THIS question caused quite a stir.  A fairly quiet bunch of women suddenly became animated, with everyone talking at once!  Never underestimate how much people appreciate your offers to pray for them.  The translators finally were able to settle things down so they could get the key requests for us:

• Pray for our children to grow up healthy
• Pray for stable families - the women were concerned their husbands might leave them, or that the relationships would be poor.  Should their husbands leave or withdraw support, it would mean their ability to provide for their children would be greatly threatened.
• Many of us have become Christians, but our husbands have not.  Please pray for them to come to Christ.
• Pray for us to nurture our children spiritually, so that they may grow up to know and fear the Lord.

So if you are inclined to pray for these women, that's how you can do it.  They would really appreciate it! 

And then, I was truly humbled when one of the women came forward and said she wanted to pray for us!  WOW - what a prayer - for our families, for our safety, for our travels, etc.  She prayed and prayed.  I was was struck at how earnestly this woman (who had so little) prayed for us (who had so much).  If we were tempted to think we had our act together because we're not stuck in poverty, let me tell you - this woman in poverty had developed a reliance on God that I can learn alot from. 

 AND NOW - some heroic Moms I'd like you to meet.  I was totally blown away at what some of these women had done - it really made me wonder if I could rise to a challenge like they have.

Hero Mom #1 - Salome

The woman in red is Salome.  She is a Christian woman whose husband had died a number of years ago (probably due to AIDS?), and she herself is now HIV positive.  When her husband died, his relatives took the house, claiming they now had the rights to it, and threw her and her children out.  She subsequently moved to this house, where she lived with her uncle.  The uncle has since died as well, and she is concerned that the relatives will again displace her from this house.

One of Salome's children attends the local church child development program, and through that program Salome could receive HIV testing since she is the caregiver of a sponsored child.  Because she is HIV positive, Compassion helps ensure she receives treatment (and Compassion will ensure she receives treatment FOR LIFE - even after her child grows up and graduates from the program).

Salome became a hero Mom in my book for a few reasons.  In a society where there is alot of risk in admitting you are HIV positive, Salome is open about her HIV status.  She serves as an example of the hope that exists (physically and spiritually) for other women that fear they may be HIV positive.  She also didn't let her HIV status scare her into putting life on hold.  Not only has she raised her own son, she has also opened her home to five orphaned children (a 6-yr-old, a 10-yr-old, and 3 12-yr-olds), whom she raises her as her own.  And, with the help of Compassion, she began a small business (selling firewood), so that she could earn enough money to support her family.  Because she is concerned that relatives may take away the house she's currently living in, her prayer request is to have a home of her own.

Hero Mom #2 - Miriam

Joseph (in the lavender shirt)

I don't have a picture of Miriam, but I have a picture of "her" child Joseph, in this photo.  (In the spirit of full disclosure, I didn't meet Miriam, just Joseph.  But the story of Joseph and Miriam was so impressive that I had to include it.)

Joseph was born with hydrocephalus, a congenital condition where fluid accumulates in the cranium, causing the head to become disproportionately large.   When most children should have been able to sit up, Joseph was unstable and needed support.  He also could not control his bowels.  Joseph's mother felt his illness brought shame to the family, and that he was useless.  But the staff at the Compassion project convinced his mother to register Joseph in the project, and then they ensured he received a medical evaluation and physical therapy so he could begin to make progress.

A year after Joseph began attending the project, his mother died.  Then four years later, his father abandoned the family.  Eventually the landlord evicted the children.  Here's where the story gets interesting....

The church Miriam attended knew they had to help Joseph and his two siblings, so they tasked Miriam (a new Christian and a single mother of one) with taking care of the children.  The new family was relocated to a home near the church.  Compassion's Highly Vulnerable Children Fund ensured the children have the required food, clothing, etc.  But Miriam provided the love. 

Miriam was initially scared by Joseph's physical problems - she said she froze when she first met him.  Joseph could hardly walk without falling.  He could not manage his bowels and often soiled himself, and Miriam was afraid he would soon die.  But she kept reminding herself that God would help her take care of him, and she continued to work with him, helping him learn to walk well, and to keep himself clean.  I was so very impressed with Miriam's incredible love --- to take care of this child that had so many significant needs, even though he was not her own child.

Today, Joseph is a very smart 11 year old boy.  He fetches water, washes dishes, walks 2 km to and from school, and even plays a little soccer.  We watched him dance on stage for us!  Joseph's favorite Bible character is (of course!) Joseph - because he too was abandoned by his original family and yet learned to forgive them.

I hope you find these stories as uplifting as I did.  It is amazing to me what these women in poverty have done, with their total reliance on God and a tremendous willingness to be used by him.  And each time I meet a woman like this, I come away asking myself - which of us is the one that is really rich? 

We Get to Build A Brick House! (Well, Part of It.....)

During our visit to Uganda, we spent three days helping build a brick house.  How did we suddenly turn into brick slingers and brick layers?

Before I describe what we did, I'd like to explain why we did it.

Margaret with Diana

I'd like to introduce you to Margaret.  Margaret is the mother of Dorothy, one of the sponsor children who attends a Compassion program at the local church.  Dorothy is 14, and wants to be a doctor when she grows up.

Margaret is one awesome woman!  She had nine children - two died, two have grown and left home, and 5 still live with her.  Her husband also died.  Margaret babysits to earn a meager living.  In the last 12 months or so, someone dropped off a child with her for babysitting and never came back.  Nobody else in the village wanted the abandoned baby - so Margaret is raising her as her own.  Margaret barely has enough to keep things going, but she thinks nothing of taking in an abandoned child....

Margaret's House

Here's Margaret's house.  Rain comes in the roof, newspapers are used where there should be window glass, and the walls are cracked all the way from ground to roof.  It is believed the house is structurally unsound.

One of the Cracked Walls in Margaret's House



Another Cracking/Crumbling Wall
















Here's the interior of her house.


The Sitting Room Furniture 

 The sitting room, with the only furniture:

The Bed That Six People Share

The bedroom, with the single bed that Margaret and the six children all use.  Note the man standing on the pile of concrete, where the walls are crumbling....

Recently, it came to the church's attention that the house Margaret and Dorothy were living in was unsafe.  The church wanted to provide a safe living environment for Dorothy, her mother and siblings.  The church didn't have the resources to build a new house, so they requested help via Compassion International's "Complimentary Interventions" program, which addresses situations that can derail a child's development into a healthy Christian adult.  If the house falls down on you....well, you won't be a healthy Christian adult!

The funding was approved, and the church is now building the house for the family.  AND - they let us help!  FORTUNATELY for Margaret and her family, the church hired REAL bricklayers, so the house should stand for a long time when it's done.  We got to work alongside the bricklayers - and came to really appreciate the work bricklayers do!  It's not as easy as it looks!!!

The Brick Pile

Here's the pile of bricks we had to start with.  When you don't have a forklift, guess how you move the bricks?  You take a "bucket brigade" approach, throwing bricks from person to person until you get them where you need them.



Mzungus Tossing Bricks



 

  

Neighbors Stopping by to Watch

By the way....this project to rebuild Margaret's house really got the neighbors talking!   The news of what the church is doing to help the people of the community was spreading like wildfire - it didn't hurt the publicity that a bunch of mzungus (white people are rarely seen there) were part of the team working on the house!



The Neighbor Woman Who Helped Us Throw Bricks

 One neighbor lady stopped by and joined the brick brigade (see the lady in the colorful dress).  She kept up with the best of us.  And anytime we slowed down or took a break, she gave us a piece of her mind - there was still work to be done!!!


 

Making Mortar - the Hard Way....

Mortar was made by hand.  You bring in sand, dig up some (clay) dirt, mix the sand and dirt, and then mix in water.  Not an easy job!!!











 Time to lay the bricks - good thing they checked our work carefully!

Checking to Ensure Our Bricks are Level




One of Our Little "Helpers" From the Neighborhood



The Progress on the New House after Three Days


We didn't complete the entire house in three days, but we made a pretty good start.  Here's where we left things.  The bricklayers continued without us (and probably went alot faster without our "help"!)












Diana, Nervously Hoping Someone Will Return to Claim This Child



I have to admit that, given the number of abandoned children we kept seeing during our visit, I had a moment of panic when someone came up and dropped this little cutey into my arms.  Had I just been given a child to raise????  Fortunately, they later came and took her back!

Eddie with His New "Friends"

Anytime you have an unusual project going on, and especially when Mzungus (white people) are involved, you are bound to attract attention.  We found ourselves with crowds of children watching - and some of them, as you will see, were great big hams!  Of course, it didn't hurt that we had stickers and other fun stuff..... I'm including the best pictures of the kids for your enjoyment!