Motherhood - Ugandan Style

Being a Mom isn't easy - even in the best of circumstances.  Before we headed off to Uganda, I knew we were going to be meeting some Ugandan Moms, so I decided to enlist the help of some "Mom friends" in the U.S. to find out what they would like to know about their counterparts in Uganda.

By the time we ended our visit, I knew there were many reasons for my Mom friends to be glad they are experiencing motherhood at home in the U.S.  I had also met some amazingly heroic Moms in Uganda.  I'll introduce you to a couple of them before I'm done. 

But first, here are the answers to the questions U.S. Moms asked their counterparts in Uganda!  Because our trip was not just to learn about Uganda, but also to talk to Moms involved in Compassion's Child Survival Program, I'll note where appropriate the difference the Child Survival Program is having in the lives of these incredible Moms and their children.

Q.  Where do Ugandan Moms give birth to their children?

One of the best ways I can explain living in Uganda is that it's like going camping without any equipment.  There's no electricity, usually no running water (and if there is water, it's not safe to drink), no protection from insects, cooking is done over a wood fire, etc.  So imagine living in that environment all the time.  Now think about giving birth in that environment.  

Ugandan women generally give birth at home.  Their medical support team is a family member or a friend - not even a midwife, unless they are really lucky.  If there are complications, well....that's a problem.  Because of the concern over complications, the Child Survival Program (CSP) brings women to the hospital to deliver their babies, so that the mother and child have the best chance of survival.  BUT - at Ugandan hospitals, the doctor won't take your case unless you bring all your own supplies!  That's right - you need to bring your own latex gloves, clamps, etc.!   So CSP also provides "birthing kits" for the Moms to bring to the hospital with them.  In this way, they remove the two biggest barriers to women and their children surviving the childbirth process.

Q.  Do Ugandan Moms have morning sickness?  If so, how do they treat it?

Yes, morning sickness is a big problem.   If left untreated, the women can become dehydrated, which can create other problems.  The CSP program ensures the women are taken to see a doctor at the hospital, where they are provided medicine to reduce the symptoms of morning sickness.

Q.  What are Moms' greatest fears for their children?  What are their concerns about bringing them into a world of poverty?

We heard loud and clear that Ugandan Moms were concerned that their children would be able to grow up healthy.   Why such a concern?  Well, in Uganda, between 13 and 14  of every 100 children die before their 5th birthday  (for comparison, less than one in a thousand children in the U.S. die before they turn 5).  And if the child survives until age 5, they may have literally just survived - although they didn't die, they may be developmentally delayed from the challenges they had to face. So it's a potentially scary thing to think about what might happen as your child grows up.  

There are lots of reasons why the children die, but here's some of the big issues:

• Water-related disease (unsafe drinking water resulting in diarrhea/dehydration)
• Malaria 
• HIV/AIDS
• Poor nutrition
• Other preventable diseases

 To address issues like this, CSP takes a variety of approaches.  For example, they educate women about the need to boil water prior to drinking it.  They teach about malaria, and provide mosquito netting to reduce the chances of being bitten by a malaria-carrying mosquito.  They educate about HIV/AIDS prevention (including prevention of transmission from mother to child) and offer HIV testing/counseling.  They ensure children receive vaccinations against preventable diseases.  They provide cooking classes (as in the picture below), to teach women what comprises a nutritious meal, and how to cook food safely.  The list goes on and on, but you get the idea!

Cooking Classes for Moms

By the way, we got to sample what the women had cooked - it was yummy!

  

Q.  How will you provide for yourself, much less for the needs of your baby?

I was totally unprepared for the number of abandoned children we would meet on our trip.  What would make a mother abandon her child?

The answer was distressingly simple.  Women become pregnant, and realize that in fact they cannot care for the child.  So what are their options?  If the mother keeps the child, she fears she will be forced to watch the child die - and that she cannot bear.  So she abandons the child - hoping that someone else will take in the child.  At least then, she believes there is a chance the child will be all right.

 The girl in the blue head wrap is 15 years old.  She told us she became pregnant - we're not sure of the circumstances, but suffice it to say the father felt no commitment to her or the child and took off.  The mother is herself an orphan.  15 years old, pregnant, and alone.  She told us she had determined she would "throw away" her baby.

Although this girl was not part of the local church, the women from the CSP program at the church heard about her situation, and went to visit her.  They spent time with her and assured her that if she kept the baby, they would come alongside her to ensure her needs were met.  And then they did just that.  This girl is now the mother of an adorable baby (who was being held by us visitors at the time I took the picture).  And this girl spent time talking with us about how tremendously grateful she was that the church had helped her, and that she had been able to keep her baby.  But that's not the end.  She will continue with the CSP program, getting the counseling, support, and discipleship she needs to help both her and her child grow into fulfilled Christian adults.

Q.  How would you like us to pray for you?

Well, the other questions got answers, but THIS question caused quite a stir.  A fairly quiet bunch of women suddenly became animated, with everyone talking at once!  Never underestimate how much people appreciate your offers to pray for them.  The translators finally were able to settle things down so they could get the key requests for us:

• Pray for our children to grow up healthy
• Pray for stable families - the women were concerned their husbands might leave them, or that the relationships would be poor.  Should their husbands leave or withdraw support, it would mean their ability to provide for their children would be greatly threatened.
• Many of us have become Christians, but our husbands have not.  Please pray for them to come to Christ.
• Pray for us to nurture our children spiritually, so that they may grow up to know and fear the Lord.

So if you are inclined to pray for these women, that's how you can do it.  They would really appreciate it! 

And then, I was truly humbled when one of the women came forward and said she wanted to pray for us!  WOW - what a prayer - for our families, for our safety, for our travels, etc.  She prayed and prayed.  I was was struck at how earnestly this woman (who had so little) prayed for us (who had so much).  If we were tempted to think we had our act together because we're not stuck in poverty, let me tell you - this woman in poverty had developed a reliance on God that I can learn alot from. 

 AND NOW - some heroic Moms I'd like you to meet.  I was totally blown away at what some of these women had done - it really made me wonder if I could rise to a challenge like they have.

Hero Mom #1 - Salome

The woman in red is Salome.  She is a Christian woman whose husband had died a number of years ago (probably due to AIDS?), and she herself is now HIV positive.  When her husband died, his relatives took the house, claiming they now had the rights to it, and threw her and her children out.  She subsequently moved to this house, where she lived with her uncle.  The uncle has since died as well, and she is concerned that the relatives will again displace her from this house.

One of Salome's children attends the local church child development program, and through that program Salome could receive HIV testing since she is the caregiver of a sponsored child.  Because she is HIV positive, Compassion helps ensure she receives treatment (and Compassion will ensure she receives treatment FOR LIFE - even after her child grows up and graduates from the program).

Salome became a hero Mom in my book for a few reasons.  In a society where there is alot of risk in admitting you are HIV positive, Salome is open about her HIV status.  She serves as an example of the hope that exists (physically and spiritually) for other women that fear they may be HIV positive.  She also didn't let her HIV status scare her into putting life on hold.  Not only has she raised her own son, she has also opened her home to five orphaned children (a 6-yr-old, a 10-yr-old, and 3 12-yr-olds), whom she raises her as her own.  And, with the help of Compassion, she began a small business (selling firewood), so that she could earn enough money to support her family.  Because she is concerned that relatives may take away the house she's currently living in, her prayer request is to have a home of her own.

Hero Mom #2 - Miriam

Joseph (in the lavender shirt)

I don't have a picture of Miriam, but I have a picture of "her" child Joseph, in this photo.  (In the spirit of full disclosure, I didn't meet Miriam, just Joseph.  But the story of Joseph and Miriam was so impressive that I had to include it.)

Joseph was born with hydrocephalus, a congenital condition where fluid accumulates in the cranium, causing the head to become disproportionately large.   When most children should have been able to sit up, Joseph was unstable and needed support.  He also could not control his bowels.  Joseph's mother felt his illness brought shame to the family, and that he was useless.  But the staff at the Compassion project convinced his mother to register Joseph in the project, and then they ensured he received a medical evaluation and physical therapy so he could begin to make progress.

A year after Joseph began attending the project, his mother died.  Then four years later, his father abandoned the family.  Eventually the landlord evicted the children.  Here's where the story gets interesting....

The church Miriam attended knew they had to help Joseph and his two siblings, so they tasked Miriam (a new Christian and a single mother of one) with taking care of the children.  The new family was relocated to a home near the church.  Compassion's Highly Vulnerable Children Fund ensured the children have the required food, clothing, etc.  But Miriam provided the love. 

Miriam was initially scared by Joseph's physical problems - she said she froze when she first met him.  Joseph could hardly walk without falling.  He could not manage his bowels and often soiled himself, and Miriam was afraid he would soon die.  But she kept reminding herself that God would help her take care of him, and she continued to work with him, helping him learn to walk well, and to keep himself clean.  I was so very impressed with Miriam's incredible love --- to take care of this child that had so many significant needs, even though he was not her own child.

Today, Joseph is a very smart 11 year old boy.  He fetches water, washes dishes, walks 2 km to and from school, and even plays a little soccer.  We watched him dance on stage for us!  Joseph's favorite Bible character is (of course!) Joseph - because he too was abandoned by his original family and yet learned to forgive them.

I hope you find these stories as uplifting as I did.  It is amazing to me what these women in poverty have done, with their total reliance on God and a tremendous willingness to be used by him.  And each time I meet a woman like this, I come away asking myself - which of us is the one that is really rich?